and was immediately stricken by it. Who is Tom Fischer? Where can I find (or NOT find) him? There must be a thousand Tom Fischers in Toronto. But only one of them belongs to the phone numbers listed there. Quick, memorize those numbers and if you ever meet a Tom with a twinkle in his eye, and he gives you his number and it happens to be one of only two numbers that exists on the whole planet, RUN...
That, or clock him. Then run.
This was my thought process. Wouldn't it be yours? The point is that this message was scribbled on the wall of a bathroom because a) someone really hates Tom Fischer, or b) someone decided to share their pain and anguish in hopes of protecting another person from having to experience it too. The anonymity of bathroom graffiti allows for this kind of community action. It gives people the freedom to share their experiences without becoming vulnerable - and possibly being victimized - once again.
The bathroom can serve as a site for warning fellow community members about known dangers. Simultaneously, the site becomes one where communities are built and strengthened. Despite the horror I felt at reading this message, I also felt a sense of security, as if someone was watching out for me. This is an important quality in a community. And in a city as large and anonymous as Toronto, a community is often hard to find. Yet communities are vital to a society's health and well-being. Feeling like you can trust the stranger who put up that warning makes you feel a little warmer towards all strangers - just not Tom Fischer. It makes you feel as if people, for the most part, are good. Providing you can avoid the Tom Fischers out there, the world is not such a scary place. And the culture of communication in the bathroom helps to weave this ever-important community fabric.
I don't know about you, but I won't be forgetting that name anytime soon. Talk about an effective Neighbourhood Watch program.
There is certainly a feeling of safety in leaving messages like this. Especially in a space where a maximum number of people can see and acknowledge it. There is also an element of sisterhood to it, which I like: women informing other women on how they can be better prepared. An effective Neighbourhood Watch program indeed.
ReplyDeleteIn looking at the pictures in the albums, it seems to me that there are often 2 extremes of opinion expressed in bathroom culture: the hyper-optimist, and the hyper-pessimist. Sentences like "you're beautiful, never forget", alongside others such as "there is no sympathy". Is the bathroom the only place where we can express ideals on either end of the emotional spectrum? What do you guys think?
ReplyDeleteIt may not be the only place, but it is definately the most honest. How often can one express their innermost thoughts? When you're alone in a bathroom stall, you can express your deepest beliefs without any sense of self-consciousness. I think some of these graffiti reflect ideas that we all think about at one time or another but that are not necessarily suitable as everday topics of conversation. True freedom of expression.
ReplyDeleteI think it is by Tom Fisher's ex-girlfriend :)
ReplyDelete